Thursday, October 25, 2007

"The Dating Game"

It has been a month since last time I blogged,I felt it was time.Have any of you losers(and i mean weight)lost most or all of your weight and started back dating?HOLY COW!!! My real age and dating age are two different numbers. When it comes to knowing how to do this thing called "dating" pardon my french but I suck at it! I may look mature and act sophisticated on the outside but when it comes to dating my age is about 17 and its getting older all the time which is a good thing. The big issue for me is the body image problem, some of you may have more or less of it depending from where you came physically and emotionally but coming from a three hundred pound weight loss it has been a big issue.First of all they already think something must be a little wrong with me as i have never been married yet. In a lot of cases they may have cause to be worried, I don't feel i want to blurt out my whole history to every man i meet or date because if the truth be known i was married, to my food addiction that is ,which came in the form of a large monkey on my back and unless i feel safe to share these thoughts or think that this man may have potential for me why else would i share this info? The first yr dating I blurted out all my imperfections on the first or second date.I wanted to warn them all ahead of time and I had this idea if i showed them my body right away if i was rejected at least i had not fallen for them yet which would mean less hurt. The problem with that was I have never been nor ever will be a promiscuous women, so that behavior did not last long. Now it is five and a half yrs later since my gastric bypass surgery and even with eleven plastic surgeries it will never be right. However the lucky part is that with my clothes on nobody would ever have believed i had once weighed 500 pounds! I'm doing a lot better at not chasing men off so fast but I still have a ways to go, In my heart I want to believe that I will fall in love someday with a man who can in fact look past all the imperfections and love me the way I deserve to be loved the way everybody deserves to be loved .Inside of me is a very sensual women just waiting to come out of her shell but waiting for someone I am sure I can trust. My vow holds strong I will not go back!!! xo stacey