Thursday, January 3, 2008

New Year, New Promises, New Lie…

Are we going to lie to ourselves yet one more year by telling ourselves that this is the year we’ll lose our weight? Each year at the stroke of midnight I’d tell myself that my new life would begin. The ball would drop and then I’d say, “Well tomorrow morning could be the start of my new day.” Morning would come, and before you knew it (as I’m picking at the leftovers), I’m telling myself I’ll begin on the 5th… then the 10th… and so the lie begins. Let’s be truthful this year and set realistic goals. If you have a single thought telling you that you can do it on your own… well that’s the biggest lie of all!

The next lie I told myself was that going to a shrink or eating healthy foods was too expensive (at the time I was on SSI). If you’re real honest with yourself about what kind of money you spend on your binge foods, then you’ll come to realize you’ve also found your pot of gold! Just for the record, for those of you who have written to me over and over about how expensive it is to make diet meals, I say it’s time to look at the truth! When you add it all up at the end, protein foods like chicken and turkey, your vegetables and fruits do not cost as much as what is spent on your other groceries and binge foods. Finding a support team is the most important thing you can do. It might be a friend or friends that you can share what you’re going through with, a therapist to deal with the issues that make you eat in the first place, or going to online support groups. For those of you who don’t know, many of these groups do take insurances, even Medicaid!

I also want to recommend something that helps keep me motivated. I faithfully watch the show “The Biggest Loser”. The season premier began Jan. 1st, so if you missed it, please tune in next Tuesday night on NBC. Watching people change their lives is very motivating to me; in fact, I have a ritual that I do for health reasons. I’m supposed to drink 100 oz. of water a day which I have so much trouble getting down, so every Tuesday I drink huge amounts of water while watching The Biggest Loser. I do not agree 100% with everything on the show, for instance: how much they focus on the numbers on the scale. But man! Seeing them lose that weight and all the exercise they do makes me motivated! For you it may not be water, so how about you agree to exercise during all the commercials? Watching that show is free, try it!

I wish you all the happiest New Year ever and for this to be your year of stopping the lies. “To my vow I hold true, I will not go back!”

With Love and faith of losing to win!
Stacey

8 Comments:

Anonymous Carol said...

I have decided this year its not gonna be im gonna diet or im gonna make it this time on a diet as to me that sums up failure right there and then. This year i have decided my resolution is going to be getting rid of the fears that have held me back from doing it again. Finding those demons and conquering them. n reading peoples answers here and seeing everyone struggle it is time to come together as a team and do this.. Not so much the weight loss but finding the reasons why and i truly believe once those reasons are found and conquered then the rest will come. n the meantime it will be watching what i eat and trying to do more then i have been and learning to live life a bit...

Hugggs to all

January 4, 2008 at 2:45 PM  
Blogger Yanna said...

Hello to all WAL Blogging Friends :::wavin' & smilin' at ya's:::

I MUST tell you this bitter/sweet story… I don’t know how to shorten this :::I’m naturally long-winded haha!::: So please bear with the length…

Stacey & I are childhood friends. We met during try-outs for one of our school plays. I found her not only to be amazingly talented, but her mind was before her time and I just had to get to know this girl who’s personality was one of its kind! We were friends ever since.

Through the years I got to see many of Stacey’s battles first hand, which became all the more serious as time went on. Battles no one person should ever have to go through in one lifetime. I became constantly worried about her, frightened to tears and to my knees praying that I wouldn’t lose my friend. Although I struggled some of the same battles as Stacey did, at the time it wasn’t to her degree and I found hers to be so much worse. I worried more for Stacey than for me. I love Stacey like a sister and a fear of her dying at a very young age grew and grew stronger inside me. I couldn’t imagine my life without Stacey in it. Stacey herself is quite the comic and not the ordinary person, but this roller coaster she was on could never be found one bit amusing! The highs became less and the lows became more severe. To me, Stacey became the “walking dead”. Just basically going through motions with whatever liveliness she could summon up on her good days, and awaiting death at any time on her bad days. Trying to get her off the couch and out into the air to take a simple night drive to the beach and back (which she loved doing) became a huge chore. The look on her face was of pure pain and exhaustion of just the thought of getting up and walking out to the car. This was something very heart wrenching to watch happen to someone you love and care about. It’s not that I ever felt that Stacey welcomed death; she was ALWAYS a fighter and feared it herself! But on those days that there was just no energy in her to be found to fight, THOSE were the days that became extremely scary!

When you get to know someone so well, eventually certain things like facial expressions, verbal remarks, body language, etc. become etched in your mind forever along with there significance. Now, as life may have it, certain things happen that cause the best of friends or even family members to have gaps in time where they are not able to see each other. In the last 10 yrs. my attempts of getting out of a very abusive marriage contributed towards various reasons a distance with loved ones, including Stacey, had come about. Although Stacey and I did talk briefly here and there by phone or email over the last 10 years, we hadn’t seen each other.

I had read Stacey’s book when it first came out and there was something she wrote in it that I just couldn’t quite get a full understanding of. The parts where she explains that the mind needs time to adjust to big changes and that she still has a shadow chasing her that makes her presently believe as though she is still that same person is something I just wasn’t getting a grip on.

Well… after 10 years I drove out to see Stacey yesterday… and Oh My God I don’t know the last time I felt so Blessed to be able to see what I feel to be a miracle on earth! There was Stacey outside her building waiting for me to pull up into the parking space with nothing but pure LIFE glowing from every part of her! She shined in every way a person could shine! The perfect picture of life, health, hope, and not to forget to mention that for the first time in all these years I was able to see how much Stacey truly resembled her incredible mother! I feel as though I was given the most extraordinary gift ever for my own eyes to witness Stacey STANDING there without a struggle, WALKING without being breathless & having to stop for rests, hailing a cab and scooting in the seat with FREEDOM, sitting in a BOOTH at a diner without tears in her eyes whispering, “can we get a table with chairs”, TROTTING around her apartment going from room to room BENDING here and there to get this and that without moaning, and WALKING GERTIE! OH MY GOODNESS! THAT DOG! Stacey greeted me wearing this stunning leopard coat (which was SOOOO STACEY! ha-ha), but what I did not expect was to walk into her apartment and see Gertie dressed just like her Mommy! Haha! What a sight for sore eyes!

To make a long story longer (haha!) here’s the part of our fantastic day that gave me the awakening to what I couldn’t get a grip on in her book! I have never driven into NYC as the driver, so I took my TomTom (GPS device) praying it would get me to NYC and back home without a problem… Right before I had to leave Stacey’s apartment she was asking me questions about my TomTom and how it worked… I told her, “Well, let’s get in my car and go for a ride and you can see for yourself.” Stacey was sitting on her couch and this unforgettable expression came on her face for a flash of a second. I recognized that expression in an INSTANT! This was one of the things etched into my memory that will never go away. I looked at her and said, “What? What’s wrong?” Stacey shook her head quick from side to side like she just snapped out of a time-warp and said, “Nothing, nothing, we can do that, let’s go.” I then said, “Oh no-no-no, you wait a minute and tell me what just happened here, what went through your mind just now?” I didn’t give her a chance to answer, I then asked her, “Stacey, is what just happened the thing you had explained in your book about the mind needing time to catch up to the new body?” She just looked at me with both a look of surprise and disbelief and then asked me how I could have possibly noticed. I told her that she made the same facial expression of it being too painful to get off the couch that she used to make years ago. She said yes and that was exactly what had just happened to her. The mind forgets you’re not that person anymore. It was sad and fascinating at the same time to actually see this happen. I believe it was meant for me to see with good reason. I have lost 165 lbs. to date and have yet another 175 lbs. to lose… I can EASILY see that happening to me one day and this experience may haven given me a jump start towards working on the mental issues before I reach my goal weight! I’ll be making an appointment to rejoin therapy this week!

I had the most wonderful visit with Stacey… exciting, emotional, fun, inspiring… Best part being is that I now know my dear friend is among the WALKING LIVING! Oh 2008 is going to be AWESOME!

Ciao for now! Hugs & Smooches for all! …Diana

January 6, 2008 at 4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I need to ask you a question Stacey .Does that mean you think its good to write resouloutions or better not to?

January 6, 2008 at 7:40 PM  
Anonymous Carol said...

First hello to all.....

It took me a few days to comment back on here trying to absorb all I was feeling the last couple of days. I finally got to watch The Biggest Loser the other night for the first time(thanks to Diana for the reminder call)and I just have say it made a big impact on me. Not by the amount of weight the people were losing but by certain things that were said and done. One of the biggest was the Hall of food where they stood in front of that screen and saw the calories and the pounds of food they intook a year. Well that seriously made me think alot. It made me think to every time i wanted a snack or a cookie or anything else, and I must say in the last couple of days since seeing the program I have been more conscious of what i am grabbing for and the quantity. I watched these people on the show and saw so much dedication from some of them and the struggles and the tears and the literal pain they felt. It was definitely an eye opener. Again the numbers dont impress me anymore but the attitudes and the determination do. That is what is keeping me going. Someone keeps telling me lately dont look very far for the answers as they are right there and to never give up. Well giving up is not something that is in me and right now I am looking in me for the answers and I know i will find them. I look forward to next weeks episode and to be able to feel that drive and determination once again and know that I will find that deep in me once again also.
Hugs to all and hope you have a great healthy day

January 10, 2008 at 4:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

carol
i an so glad u found biggest loser . i so wish u had seen last season it was mind boggeling.. if you get a chance to buy previous seasons i think it will help u a lot. try going on the biggest loser website or call your local video stores and amazon .com. It will be worth every penny you spend! xo stacey

January 10, 2008 at 5:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Stacey
I totally understand your new entry onto your blog about resolutions. I wish you publicly as I have done for many years on a one to one basis all the luck in the world. I as many of us am, are very proud of you and all you have accomplished. Yet it is only the tip of the iceberg as to what is out there for you.
I am not in total agreement with your love and endorsement of “The Biggest Loser” but you and I have been known to affectionately disagree before. I am cautious about the exploitation of out disease and the making of “millions” of dollars. I do not know enough about the show and its produces but I hope they are donating some of those profits to some kind of research to aide in this cause. Let me not get started!
Sash oops Stacey I want to take this opportunity to wish you a very happy and healthy new year. Note to anyone out there reading Stacey’s blog who is in or has connections with the entertainment world, she is a very talented actress and has great comic and musical talent. She has kept her close friends entertained and in “stitches” for many years … no matter what her weight has been or what inner battles she was going through.
All the best to all
Love
Mike

January 15, 2008 at 2:13 PM  
Anonymous Carol said...

Popping in here to say hello and wishing everyone a healthy day and hope everyone is taking time out of their day for themselves and remembering how important they are...hugggssss to all and have a great and wonderful day

January 25, 2008 at 12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DEAR STACEY
HOW ABOUT SOME NEW BLOGGS. HOPE ALL IS WELL
????

March 17, 2008 at 2:42 PM  

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