Tuesday, January 26, 2010

THE MOST COMPLICATED YET GREATEST RELATIONSHIP- MOMS

Well, my mom finished her radiation treatments in New York and went back to Florida this week. I know she was happy about going home, but we were both sad also, because we got to spend six weeks together. It’s funny how when you get older your mom becomes more of a friend than she is a mother figure. We shared a lot of things we would have not normally shared years ago. Yes, we fight like cats and dogs, but the beauty of a good mother/daughter relationship is no matter how bad we fight, or the not so nice words we said, the next day we are back to normal and the slate is clean, I find this much harder to do that with friends.

For the first time in my life I can really see my growth, as a person, through my relationship with my mom. I was able to be there for her 100% for the very first time in my life. When she got on that plane, I felt no guilt, no remorse or no wishing I had said or did something different. That was one of the best feelings in my life. I could tell that my mom trusted that I would be there for her and she could count on me which is so much growth for me. It’s a new role my life to have people in general look to me for answers and strength. My role was to always be the needy one. I like my new role in life, and I look forward to being there for other people. I get to do that a lot through the [Our Resolution] campaign. I look forward to the spring and to traveling again to meet people and to get a chance to make a difference in their lives.

My dog Tushy turned one this month and the poor guy just had his manly parts cut off. I really did not want to do it, but just in case the doctors are right and his chances for bad health are greater I thought it was best. He is such a friendly dog to children, adults and other PETS that I decided this year; we will get certified so Tushy can be a comfort dog. Eventually, we will visit people in hospitals, especially children to cheer them up. Tushy is a Maltese and is a non allergic dog and does not shed so he will be perfect.

Have a good week my friends, with great love and respect STACEY

Thursday, January 21, 2010

No Weight Talk Challenge

If someone tells me I need to change something about myself, I do not listen, as I pride myself on my uniqueness. If two people tell me that I might want to think about changing something about myself, I do not listen. If three to five people tell me, I still do not listen, but after five I know it's time to look at this behavior that people are calling to my attention. I call this blog the "NO WEIGHT TALK CHALLENGE”.

In April of 2010, it will be eight years since I had my gastric bypass surgery. I have maintained a three hundred pound weight loss for about five years now. When I meet people for the first time as I am doing today I feel compelled to somehow see, to bring the conversation to the fact that I once weighed 550 pounds. It's almost an obsession. I feel as if I do not have a lot to offer if I do not bring my accomplishments to the table, again hence the obsession.

My own boyfriend of almost two years tells me that I talk about the old me way to much. He tells me that he does not know that me, that it was before his time. Recently someone I work with asked me why all my blogs somehow always go back to the topic of weight. This women told me I have so much more going on in my life and I live in a very exciting city and she tells me I have great stories to tell that have nothing to do with my weight. My answer to her is that I am now a proud spokesperson of one of the greatest companies called Covidien part of the [Our Resolution] campaign which you can visit at www.OurResolution.com. I am also a motivator, so in my mind I assume that is all people wish to talk about. The woman also told me, yes all those things are true, but you are also a fabulous women with lots to share and I should try to share other stuff too.

Ok, so I've heard this over and over even from Oprah Winfrey, who told me live on her show that when I was dating I was giving out too much info about my past too soon. So here is where I am finally acknowledging it's time to be the new me. Does that mean I won't talk about weight issues, no way, of course I will. I feel A RESPONSIBILITY to share with people about my success and how just a few short months after having weight loss surgery my diabetes, my high blood pressure and my high cholesterol have all resolved themselves to normal numbers. I also see now that I have to embrace the new me, the me that is not just about her weight issues. I am giving myself a one month challenge ,for one month from today after this blog is posted I will not mention weight issues AT all unless to announce somewhere I will be speaking or if someone writes in a weight related question. There's more, I also will not discuss my weight with anyone I meet for the first time or old friends unless of course they bring it up. So, for the next month’s blog they will be non weight related and at the end of the month I will report to you how I did and if I learned anything. I will be sure to share it with you. So here goes, wish me luck...

With love and respect,
STACEY

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

"We are as sick as our secrets"'

Every year, since I can remember, my New Year’s resolution had to do with weight and never anything else. This year it is going to be different, for the first time, because I now believe if I can work on this particular issue, everything that has to do with weight will just keep getting better.

When people lose a lot of weight, unfortunately they usually exchange it with another bad addiction, which usually takes the place of the old one. I talk about this more in my book “Winning after Losing’. For some it becomes like alcohol as Carne Wilson admitted she struggled with for awhile, for others it can become a sex addiction (my body is not in good enough shape for that one lol!} For me it turned out to be a shopping addiction. It all started out very innocently. .

My whole life I had to order all my clothes from a dress maker, because even the larger size stores did not carry my size. It would normally take about a month from the time I purchased the material till I got the finished clothes back; so when I got to the point where I lost enough weight to buy clothes in the stores I was literally (no pun intended) like a kid in a candy store. When I realized I could actually take the clothes home with me the same day well I went nuts!!!!!(More food talk lol) I started buying everything in sight just because it fit. It got to the point that if I had a guest stay at my apartment, I had to borrow a clothing rack to put in the living room. I have a small one bedroom apartment in Manhattan, so I was getting a bit closed in. It graduated to beyond clothes I had became a home shopping network addict. I almost bought a garden hose even though I don’t even have a backyard just because they described it on TV so well ha ha but I swear.

It had gotten so out of hand that I no longer allowed my boyfriend to come over to the apartment for several months, because I was embarrassed at what my apartment had become. I finally along with the help of my shrink, my mom and the cable show “Clean house” put two and two together. I had replaced half gallons of ice-cream and whole pizzas with “stuff”, and it did not matter if I went into debt to get it. It started to affect my healthy food choices and that’s when I realized how big this problem was. I vowed that this will be the year I de- clutter my life and my mind and even lose some more weight.

I once heard, ‘We are as sick as our secrets”. So this year, I am coming out of the closet, along with a lot of other junk, and I am going to fix my mess. I started already, in the last two weeks I have removed over twenty big garbage bags of trash out of my house. This is going to be just as hard for me as it was losing 300 lbs, but at least I know I am capable of that kind of change. So how about you? Do you have a junk draw or two that needs tending too? Join me on my de-clutter campaign in 2010. Have a great week…. with love Stacey